Do you ever have the perfect day? It's that day where you are productive at work, you get dinner on the table on time, your kids are not whiny and just super cute, and you actually like your husband... the day where you feel like super-mom and super-wife and super-homemaker and super-VP.
Yesterday I had a pretty perfect day. Everything went my way. I woke up, had a quiet morning coffee and headed into work. I locked down a replacement phone even though in the beginning it was on back order indefinitely, made a couple sales calls, filed emails and got organized for the week ahead. I stayed focused at work all day (even if some of that focus was on buying a new phone case or using my lunch break to shop for baby shower gifts). None of the day was "wasted" by not being productive. I got out of work on time. I was in my car by 4 pm on the way home. When I got home, I changed quickly, packed a diaper bag and wrestled two kids in the car to head for the gym. Coincidentally my kids think the gym daycare is a "treat" so its pretty easy to get them into the car. When I got to the gym, I ran for a bit and then I went into what I thought was a short, easy 30 minute class. Come to find out, it was 50 minutes and hard as hell. But, I pushed through and I felt good after. I wrestled two kids back into the car (a large challenge since they didn't want to leave even though I know they are tired and hungry). Dinner was grilled wild Alaskan salmon, rice, and spinach salad with strawberries, nuts, and blue cheese - not takeout or a frozen meal. The kids laughed at the table and loved the food. We all bathed. We snuggled under blankets and read stories in our master bedroom before kisses and bedtimes. Once the kids were in bed, hubby and I snuggled under blankets and watched house hunters. We headed to bed and performed the maritals. I layed in bed afterwards thinking about how well the day had gone and how accomplished I felt as I listened to him drift off to sleep.
I'd say I rocked Monday and it felt good. I can honestly say I was a great mom, wife, cook, and co-worker and I even took some time for myself. I know this won't happen every day, but I've gotta take credit when it does. So many moms don't take credit for these small victories in such a hectic life.
I rocked Monday so hard that this morning I folder two loads of laundry at 5:45 am before coming to work. I'm determined to rock Tuesday as well! So far, so good but its only 10 am!
I'm bored.
I'm bored most of the time. I don't know what my problem is.
I love my kids, but if I am with them all day I am bored.
I think I want to be at work but I come to work and I'm bored. About 10% of the time I get excited about my job and then the other 90% I am counting down the minutes to leave (even by 7:30 am sometimes).
I'm bored with our nightly routine. I know structure is the key to happy kids but I wish we could do something after work beside dinner, bath, stories, and bedtime.
I've turned into my parents. I always wondered how they survived the day to day monotony of just cooking dinner and watching TV every night, but now I know. You just do.
I could be more active. I could go out to the garage and run on the elliptical and lift some weights but that sounds even worse than being bored!
I'm in a rut and I don't know how to get out. I'm old and bored and have no motivation.
I love my kids, but if I am with them all day I am bored.
I think I want to be at work but I come to work and I'm bored. About 10% of the time I get excited about my job and then the other 90% I am counting down the minutes to leave (even by 7:30 am sometimes).
I'm bored with our nightly routine. I know structure is the key to happy kids but I wish we could do something after work beside dinner, bath, stories, and bedtime.
I've turned into my parents. I always wondered how they survived the day to day monotony of just cooking dinner and watching TV every night, but now I know. You just do.
I could be more active. I could go out to the garage and run on the elliptical and lift some weights but that sounds even worse than being bored!
I'm in a rut and I don't know how to get out. I'm old and bored and have no motivation.
I need a resolution
Seriously, I need a resolution.
Basically, I've been slacking. I could give you 1000 excuses, but I don't think any of them are adequate. I've gotten lazy and complacent and that's just not like me. So, what better time than a new year?
Things I'd like to focus on:
*Exercising a bit more. Not a ton, because I really do hate exercise. I just need to get to a few nights per week so that I can stay healthy for my family.
I did exercise January 1! We did a walk around the neighborhood and then I ran for 15 minutes on the treadmill. It's better than nothing!
*Drinking a bit less. We (my husband and I) have gotten into the habit of drinking more often than I'd like to admit. Alcohol for us is a stress reliever. Its for celebration. Its for any old bad day at work. We used to have a rule that we wouldn't drink during the week but thats slipped over the past few months. A few less glasses of wine will do my figure and my wallet a lot of good!
*Focus on "Real Food". I've been reading the blog http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/ for a while now. In general, we do try to eat local, whole foods but we also eat a lot of crap - takeout Chinese, boxed cereal, etc. We are going to try and follow her 14 week mini-challenge to get our family eating totally real food. I know it won't be easier but even if a few of the steps stick, our family will be healthier for it.
*Continue debt repayment. I hate debt. We don't even have credit cards or anything, but still our mortgage and our student loans loom over my head daily and I feel like I am suffocating. I don't want to owe anyone anything. In addition, if god forbid I leave this earth early, I don't want my kids owing it either! So, we continue to tighten our belts and try to pay off everything. In the first quarter, I hope to have our rental propery second mortgage paid off. After that, finish off our student loans.
*Have some dang fun. Chloe and Lyla are growing up so fast. I want to vacation again. I want to spend many weekends at the pool and go on family bike rides. I want to enjoy life with two small kids because its so awesome to see them have fun.
Happy 2013.
Basically, I've been slacking. I could give you 1000 excuses, but I don't think any of them are adequate. I've gotten lazy and complacent and that's just not like me. So, what better time than a new year?
Things I'd like to focus on:
*Exercising a bit more. Not a ton, because I really do hate exercise. I just need to get to a few nights per week so that I can stay healthy for my family.
I did exercise January 1! We did a walk around the neighborhood and then I ran for 15 minutes on the treadmill. It's better than nothing!
*Drinking a bit less. We (my husband and I) have gotten into the habit of drinking more often than I'd like to admit. Alcohol for us is a stress reliever. Its for celebration. Its for any old bad day at work. We used to have a rule that we wouldn't drink during the week but thats slipped over the past few months. A few less glasses of wine will do my figure and my wallet a lot of good!
*Focus on "Real Food". I've been reading the blog http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/ for a while now. In general, we do try to eat local, whole foods but we also eat a lot of crap - takeout Chinese, boxed cereal, etc. We are going to try and follow her 14 week mini-challenge to get our family eating totally real food. I know it won't be easier but even if a few of the steps stick, our family will be healthier for it.
*Continue debt repayment. I hate debt. We don't even have credit cards or anything, but still our mortgage and our student loans loom over my head daily and I feel like I am suffocating. I don't want to owe anyone anything. In addition, if god forbid I leave this earth early, I don't want my kids owing it either! So, we continue to tighten our belts and try to pay off everything. In the first quarter, I hope to have our rental propery second mortgage paid off. After that, finish off our student loans.
*Have some dang fun. Chloe and Lyla are growing up so fast. I want to vacation again. I want to spend many weekends at the pool and go on family bike rides. I want to enjoy life with two small kids because its so awesome to see them have fun.
Happy 2013.
"You don't get to stop living"
It's a phrase I had to use over the holidays. It's a phrase I have to remember a lot.
My dad died on August 1st. Worst day of my life. Ever. Honestly. The phone call I received that day smothered me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I'd only been working at my new company for about 4 months and I didn't know these people but all I could do is scream "no no no no no". I couldn't drive because I was shaking too much so my husband had to pick me up.
My dad went to bed and never woke up.
Things run through my head all the time.
What was it like for my mom? Waking up, realizing that my dad, who is usually up at 3 am is still in bed at 6 or 7 am.
What if my husband doesn't wake up?
What if I don't wake up?
Other things also run through my head.
Thank god I saw them in July.
Thank god they came to visit.
Thank god we had such a good time.
I've processed things. Its been a few months. And it comes down to this: Yes, it sucks. It sucks so bad. But, you don't get to stop living.
I could stick my head in the ground and try to ignore life. I spend every day crying about it. I could become irresponsible and start slacking off at work, with my kids, in marriage or running our household. Who wins then? It won't make him come back. In fact, he will most likely be looking down from heaven just planning his lecture that he is going to give me when I get up there.
This is what I had to tell my brother. He decided to choose another path. He decided to use death as an excuse to fail - to shirk all responsibility for 5 months and put his head in the sand. He failed the entire semester of college. He didn't get up before 2 pm. He didn't keep a steady job. I'm so disappointed. I'm also so mad. While my mom, my sisters, and I continued to live life, he stopped.
I hope after our talk he will be back on the right track. You don't get to stop living just because dad did.
My dad died on August 1st. Worst day of my life. Ever. Honestly. The phone call I received that day smothered me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I'd only been working at my new company for about 4 months and I didn't know these people but all I could do is scream "no no no no no". I couldn't drive because I was shaking too much so my husband had to pick me up.
My dad went to bed and never woke up.
Things run through my head all the time.
What was it like for my mom? Waking up, realizing that my dad, who is usually up at 3 am is still in bed at 6 or 7 am.
What if my husband doesn't wake up?
What if I don't wake up?
Other things also run through my head.
Thank god I saw them in July.
Thank god they came to visit.
Thank god we had such a good time.
I've processed things. Its been a few months. And it comes down to this: Yes, it sucks. It sucks so bad. But, you don't get to stop living.
I could stick my head in the ground and try to ignore life. I spend every day crying about it. I could become irresponsible and start slacking off at work, with my kids, in marriage or running our household. Who wins then? It won't make him come back. In fact, he will most likely be looking down from heaven just planning his lecture that he is going to give me when I get up there.
This is what I had to tell my brother. He decided to choose another path. He decided to use death as an excuse to fail - to shirk all responsibility for 5 months and put his head in the sand. He failed the entire semester of college. He didn't get up before 2 pm. He didn't keep a steady job. I'm so disappointed. I'm also so mad. While my mom, my sisters, and I continued to live life, he stopped.
I hope after our talk he will be back on the right track. You don't get to stop living just because dad did.
Life, happening daily.
It's been about a year since I've written in my old blog. And, like my pre-pregnancy pants, so many things have changed that my old blog just doesn't seem to fit anymore. Just like all the pairs of pants I donated and bought new sizes, its time to start fresh on the internet too.
My old blog was about pregnancy - getting pregnant, being pregnant, fighting to stay pregnant, and those chapters have ended. I have two beautiful baby girls now and while I love them to death and my world is centered around them, life still happens.
So cheers to a new beginning. Open a bottle of wine with me. Please join me as I share my stories about a stressful career path, travelling throughout the US and Internationally, life as a family, and life in Jenn-eral. Its been a great year and its been one of the worst years of my life with the loss of my dad so we have a lot to talk about. A lot to catch up on. Is your wine open yet?
My old blog was about pregnancy - getting pregnant, being pregnant, fighting to stay pregnant, and those chapters have ended. I have two beautiful baby girls now and while I love them to death and my world is centered around them, life still happens.
So cheers to a new beginning. Open a bottle of wine with me. Please join me as I share my stories about a stressful career path, travelling throughout the US and Internationally, life as a family, and life in Jenn-eral. Its been a great year and its been one of the worst years of my life with the loss of my dad so we have a lot to talk about. A lot to catch up on. Is your wine open yet?
